ladyhawk (lilmommy76) wrote in the_world_after,

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i have a story.

all my life i believed in God. But as time went on it started to wear thin. My ex was in jail and i was debating on leaving him. But i felt a strong force inside me ... telling me to stay by his side and have a child with him. I have done alot of stupid things before but this would have been real stupid. But the more i wanted to leave the feeling got stronger. So strong it nagged at my very soul. so i stayed and got pregnant. durring my delivery (i was six weeks early) i had to have a c-sec. i was on the operating table and to my left was a beautiful brunette. eyes a beatufil cheast nut brown. she didnt say anything just listen to me as a rambled on about nonsense. i remember her name tag it said hope. after i had my stay i had to fill out a servee on the doctors and nurses. i asked about "hope" and they had no clue to who she was. i kept trying to find out but noone knew what i was talking about.

I have been certain religion for awhile. but stoped because it didnt feel right for me. i have been searching. i finally found one i feel works for me. and helps me keep God in my everyday life without anxiety.

I baught the book "mother god",by sylvia browne. and the picture of azna looks like the woman i saw on the day i had michael. whether it was her or not. be it as it may, i cried and felt an anormous amount of joy.
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